Before starting with this post I want to state that I know you are tired of reading, and watching and listening about COVID and to be honest so am I.
Inspiration to make this post
So a few days back, my teacher asked us in class that what are our views on lockdown and how was our experience. I always like to volunteer so I did. I gave a big rant on how I hate online classes and this whole lockdown and how I want to go to school (though that is not what I intended to do but emotion is something strong 😂) .
But later on in a PowerPoint Presentation that we had to make for homework I wrote that I feel grateful for online classes. I asked one of my friends to have a look at it and tell me if I can make anything better. She looked at it and immediately pointed out the online class portion. She made a lot of fun of me and we laughed a lot. Afterwards I thought of it. Do I hate or love online classes and this lock down overall?
So I decided to make this post to find out myself because it is easier to figure things out if you put them down somewhere.
So first lets go exactly one year back in May, 2020.
I was happy and excited, also having problem living in my home all day but things were going pretty well.
Comparing it to now I don't really know if I am happy or sad. Maybe I am just bored. I don't really know to be honest. One side of me wants to go to school, continue with the normal life, but the other side of me is sluggish wants to remain at home and continue living this lethargic and uneventful life. So you see I don't know it myself whether I am depressed or cheerful.
So first I will talk about the good things of lockdown and then we will proceed on to the things of which I am sick.
Pros
1. Because of lockdown I am getting more time to spend on myself and more time to relax. Things have slowed down a lot.
2. I feel grateful for online classes because I don't have to wake up early and get ready for school.
3. I got to know my family better, especially my brother who doesn't live with us because of college.
Cons
1."Things have slowed down a lot"
This point is good, but excess of anything is not good. All of the discipline from my life has vanished into thin air. I know this sounds like something my parents would say and I never support them when they bring this up. But deep down I know that it is not good and I hate it.
2."I feel grateful for online classes because I don't have to wake up early and get ready for school."
And the truth is Yes I do. But sometimes I don't like it because my screen time has become 20 times and it is more difficult to concentrate because of network issue and other technical difficulties. It might not sound that horrible, but trust me, It is. All the students reading this post know. But again, what other choice do we have.
3. "I got to know my family better, especially my brother who doesn't live with us because of college"
Yeah totally yes, but again too much of something is not good. Consider situations when your parents yelled at you. Going to school helps. But again if you get scolded at home you can't possibly do anything except letting your anger out on some teddy bear you have in your room.
4. This point is not in reference to any positive thing.
Social Anxiety
Yeah you might be thinking that what kind of anxiety can a 12 year old have. But trust me being a 12 year old in this COVID period is tough. Previously when I got to meet new people or people at school who aren't close friends I didn't have a problem. Sometimes I find myself being unnecessarily paranoid and I try to stop that but I can't. I noticed that in the first 2-3 months of online classes, no matter how I looked but I always opened my webcam but now I can't, even if I try. I find myself thinking that other people are making fun of me. I think another reason is that this year our classes got shuffled and there are many people whom I don't know. I am very sad about the shuffling and wanna cry whenever I think of it, but again that's another topic.
A lotus of positivity in a pond of negative thoughts
But despite all this, no matter what, we have to stay strong!
"Time will pass and seasons will come and go" - Roy Bean
And we have to stick to this, no matter what and try to utilize our time in hobbies and helping parents.
Stay Home, Stay Safe
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